A boy who grew up in a town so small the school bus was a yellow Toyota, went to see the town druggist. The only place to shop was the town’s drug store. He told the druggist that he wanted three boxes of candy. He wanted a one pound, a three pound, and a five pound box of candy and asked that they be gift-wrapped. The druggist told him OK and then asked the girl behind the counter to wrap the boxes.
When the candy was ready he told the boy, “Here is your one pound, your three pound, and your five pound boxes of candy. I am a little curious, I don’t want to be nosey but this is an unusual request. Would you mind telling me why you want three different sizes?”
He replied, “I’m so excited sir, I’d love to tell you. I have a date tonight with the cutest girl in the whole school. I’m going to her parents’ house and have dinner and after dinner we are going to go out on the porch. We’re going to sit on the swing. And sir, if she lets me hold her hand, I’m going to give her the one pound box of candy. If she lets me put my arm around her, I’ll give her the three pound box of candy. And sir, if she lets me kiss her, I’m going to give her the five pound box of candy.”
Well, lo and behold, the boy showed up and he was asked to say the blessing. He prayed and prayed. He prayed around the world once and then again and then prayed some more. Finally he quit praying. When he did the girl turned to him and said, “I didn’t know you were so religious.” He said, “I didn’t know your daddy was the druggist!”
I can identify with that little boy. Relationships seem to get more and more confusing. A little girl and boy had just met and were playing. The boy said, “Let’s play baseball.” She said, “I don’t want to do that, baseball is a boys’ game and it’s not feminine to run around in a dusty vacant lot. I’m not going to play baseball.” He said, “How about football?” “No, that’s even less feminine. You have to fall down and get dirty. That’s not a girls’ game.”
He said, “OK. I have an idea. I’ll race you to the corner.” She replied, “No, let’s play a quiet game, a game where we don’t run and get all sweaty. Besides, girls never race with boys.” The boy scratched his head in confusion trying to think of something they could do and finally he said, “I have it. Let’s play house.” She said, “Good, I’ll be the Daddy.”
Relationships are confusing because you are normal and everyone else is weird. I’ve discovered one of the main problems is in male/female relationships. All of a sudden, you’re prize package has become a surprise package.
I think the bottom line is that women are just more complex. I know my wife is. For example, If you look in my bathroom you will find about six items – toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor and maybe some hair spray. But if you look in hers there are about 97 items most of which I don’t have a clue what they are.
Then there is the closet. In her closet there are clothes, shoes, and a section for all of her purses. She has brown, black, multi-colored, spring, winter, casual, formal, and Easter purses. My closet, on the other hand, has no such section; I have only one wallet and most of the time I can’t find it.
I guess deep down, men are real shallow. A man can go on a vacation for a week and only carry one suitcase. He can go to the bathroom without taking a support group and he can get a three-pack of underwear for less the $15. He can go to his friend’s house without taking a little surprise gift. Men didn’t grow up saying, “Let’s go to my house and braid our hair and talk.”
So guys, I have some advice. Learn to say just three little words that will revolutionize your relationship. When she tells you about the new color she’s considering for the family room just look in her eyes and say three simple words, “Tell me more.” I guarantee you there will be less of a roar at your house. And ladies remember, when he says, “Tell me more,” he really doesn’t want to know any more. He is only asking because I told him to and he loves you. So think in terms of a pamphlet not a novel. Keep it short with a lot of action, kind of like a Three Stooges movie. He will love it.
http://www.freecomicbelief.com
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